Community Guidelines
Hens works when women show up for each other. These rules keep it that way. They are part of the Terms of Service, and every member agrees to them when she joins.
The short version
- This is for friendship and plans, not dating.
- Welcome new faces. Many women arrive on their own.
- An RSVP means you are coming. If plans change, update it early.
- Keep national politics out of the group. Start a private chat if you must.
- Disagree without contempt.
- Treat the group like a friend's dinner party: respect the host, the guests, and the place.
- No harassment, hate, threats, explicit content, or deliberate humiliation.
- Do not cold-pitch, recruit, fundraise, or treat the member list like a lead list.
- Do not repost messages or photos outside Hens without permission.
- Report what concerns you. Reports are reviewed and acted on.
- Hens is not an emergency or clinical service. Call 911 for immediate danger; call or text 988 for crisis support.
Friendship and plans, not dating
Hens exists so that a reservation, a show, a class, or an extra ticket turns into a plan with women worth knowing. Members are single, dating, partnered, married, divorced, and everything else, and none of that is the point. Hens is not a place to find a date, and it is not a place to be found. Sexual solicitation, romantic pursuit of other members, and explicit content get a member removed, usually on the first report.
Be yourself
Use your real name and be who you say you are. One account per person. Do not impersonate anyone or misrepresent who you are, what you do, or whom you are affiliated with. Nobody is ranked, scored, or sorted here.
RSVPs and showing up
When you say you are going, the host counts on you and someone else may be waiting for that seat. If something comes up, change your RSVP as early as you can, not after the table has been seated. Some events are ticketed; the price, the payment link, and any refund terms are stated on the event.
Hosting a plan
State the date, time, place, headcount, and any cost up front: ticket prices, per-person share, house rules. Keep the headcount honest and update the post if the details change. Money that members collect from each other for a plan is between those members; Hens is not part of that transaction unless the event is ticketed by Hens. If you organized it, show up first and make people feel expected.
Talking to each other
The best conversations start with a plan. Welcome new faces, especially anyone who says it is her first event. Do not open with a pitch, a request for personal information, or a message you would not send to a friend of a friend at a dinner party.
Disagree all you like; do it without contempt. Keep national politics out of the group. No harassment, hate, threats, slurs, or deliberate humiliation, in the group, in group chats, or in private messages. What is shared in Hens stays in Hens: do not screenshot, forward, or repost members' messages, photos, or profiles anywhere else without their permission.
Business and money
Plenty of members run businesses and side projects, and we love to hear about them when it fits. Do not cold-pitch, recruit for a job or a scheme, fundraise, or use the member list, group chats, or messaging as a lead list. If you are paid to recommend something, say so.
Safety in person
Hens does not run background checks or vet members, venues, or activities. Use the judgment you would use meeting anyone new: keep first plans in public places, tell someone where you are going, and take your own car or a ride home if the night involves drinking. Do not drive impaired. You are responsible for your own choices and your own safety at any plan, and for the risks of the activity itself, whether that is a kickboxing class, a trail, or a night out. If something happens at a plan that concerns you, report it.
Photos
Photos get taken at Hens events, and some end up in the group, on myhens.co, or on Hens social media. Ask before you post a photo of someone else, and take it down if she asks. If you would rather not be photographed, tell the host, and email us if a photo of you needs to come down.
Reporting and enforcement
Report a post, a message, or a member to the group admins, or email betsy@myhens.co. Reports are reviewed by a person and are kept confidential from the member being reported. Depending on the seriousness of the violation and any history, we may issue a warning, restrict participation, or remove a member. Harassment, threats, sexual solicitation, hate, and behavior that endangers another member result in immediate removal. Members who are removed may not rejoin under another name. If you believe a decision was wrong, email us and we will take another look.
Not a crisis service
Hens is a community, not an emergency, crisis, or clinical service. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911. For emotional distress or suicidal crisis support, call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org.
Questions
betsy@myhens.co. We read everything.